January
1997
Spindy
the Spider: The Unauthorised Sequel to Charlotte's Web
By Pamela Teisler-Rice
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Before Babe, the little pig who could,
there was Wilbur, friend Charlotte, and her web. Vegevangelist Pam
Teisler-Rice offers another spin on E. B. Whites timeless
tale.
The parson at the Old Baptist Church of Shelbyville had again neglected
to turn off the microphone in the church sanctuary this day. And given
that it was about time for another Association of Balloonist Spiders
convention, word went around that a meeting would be held that evening.
Spindy the Spider swung from her thread just below the microphone as
head spider Oz began to call the ABS assembly to order. When Oz eventually
accomplished his task, he called Spindy to crawl up to the microphone.
She stood with her legs curled around the top of the bulbous audio
device with an aura of purpose. Alas, it had gotten to that part of
the program which was most controversial to the balloonist spiders
whether or not the ABS should lobby for the rightful place in history
for one of its own.
Spindy was spearheading the campaign to raise the status of her great
aunt, Charlotte.
Spindy began: Today we have a special guest who is making his way here
at this very moment.
A deep murmur rose up in the assembly hall. Now, we all know of my
great aunt whose life was chronicled in the book Charlottes Web by
E. B. White, Spindy continued. It was the web that Aunt Charlotte spun,
that saved Wilbur the pig from the butchers knife. The day Charlotte
wrote Some Pig in her web, the farmer who owned Wilbur spared him.
It is now incumbent upon us, the descendants of this extraordinary
balloonist spider, to set the record straight about her. For the rightful
dignity of all spiders balloonist spiders in particular we must hammer
home the incongruity of this argument. Sure, we are happy that Aunt
Charlotte saved Wilbur. But what about Charlotte? She certainly was
Some Spider! Can we all agree on that, my friends? Charlotte was the
only spider in history who was able to write in her web in English,
too, for that matter!
Now, who is willing to lend their help to this cause? Who, here among
you is willing.... Spindy was abruptly cut off by a loud snapping of
a twig just outside the opened door of the church. No sooner had the
conventioneers heard the snap than they saw the scrutinous head of
a pig peering in at them.
Aghast, some of the balloonist spiders scampered to the far side of
the room, as far as they could go, piling up atop one another.
Now inside the church, Wilbur froze in place.
Spindy bellowed wildly from the microphone for the spiders to come
to order. Its Wilbur, you know, Some Pig! Hes our special guest. Take
your places, please, spiders; hes on our side. Hes here to help!
Cautiously, the spiders crawled down one another, and jostled again
for their positions in the audience. Wilbur strained to stay perfectly
still till order was completely restored. Please, my friends. Wilbur
is here this evening to tell you about an idea hes come up with to
set the record straight about Charlotte, the spider who saved his life.
You should know that it was I who ballooned back to the farm where
hes been living all of these years. And he in turn has made quite a
trek to meet with us today. For that alone, he is Some Pig. But I will
let him tell you himself why he deserves accolades from us.
Wilbur?
There was no applause from the spider audience as Wilbur, very gingerly,
walked over to the microphone. He stood before the assembled group
for quite a while before he began. Im here... Wilbur squealed and stopped
short.
The audience began to laugh and jeer.
Spindy, stop wasting our time with this one, one spider yelled.
We've heard enough, Spindy; hang it up, another cried.
Wilburs heart was thumping hard. As he was a pig, he wasnt sweating,
(because pigs cant sweat), but his eyes began darting back and forth
through the audience as shouts were heard. For a moment, he shut his
eyes, and began imagining kind Charlotte, his old friend, before him.
He began to remember why he had traveled so far to speak to these spiders.
At that moment he began his speech again over the commotion of the
crowd. Im here today, his voice was back to normal again, to do something
about the ironic PR problem we have been living with since Charlotte
wrote Some Pig in her web. Spindy and I have a plan to turn this thing
around to the benefit of us all. The spiders became more attentive.
I have acquired a special ability over the years, and it all goes back
to Charlotte why this came to be. You see, because Charlotte displayed
the ability to write, Fern, my human friend who was just a little girl
when she would visit Charlotte and me in the barn, taught me to read
... and write...
The sanctuary was suddenly so quiet that Spindy casually scratching
her forehead became the center of attention.
Wilbur continued to the rapt assembly: I am going to travel around
the countryside, writing in the dirt, wherever I can, the phrase: Charlotte
Was Some Spider. To this, a spider in the crowd began to clap his legs
slowly in the silence. Then another spider joined in.
No, really, its the least I can do, Wilbur responded. By this time
the applause was universal throughout the room. Please dont applaud.
I owe it to Charlotte and her ilk, thats you, Wilbur blurted out over
the clapping.
At this time, Spindy began crawling up the support of the microphone.
Getting to the top, she hit the side as hard as she could to make a
thump.
Then Wilbur began to bang too, sending Spindy swinging again. Up her
thread she dashed to continue about the plan, but the applause continued
for at least another three minutes.
Lady spiders and gentlemen spiders, Spindy said, finally able to be
heard, there is more to this plan. I would like you all to keep listening.
This plan, in fact is bigger than all of us, really. The room became
quiet again, and Wilbur stepped up to speak. I am going to walk the
countryside and write this phrase about Charlotte in the dirt wherever
I go; but I also plan to pass on the ability to write this phrase to
other free pigs I see along the way. I wont be able to impart the full
extent of my knowledge of reading and writing to them that process
would take years but I will at least be able to teach the pigs I meet
to scrawl the letters and spaces in the right order to get the message
out there.
The spiders began hugging and kissing one another and a sense of well
being began to permeate the room. Wilbur retreated from his place before
the group. Spindy again made her ascent to the top of the microphone.
Spindy began: This is quite a moment for us all. This day, I am sure
will go down in spider history. But I would like to draw your attention
to a reality that I know most of you are familiar with. In your ballooning
travels, I know that many of you have lighted upon Murphys Farm down
on Highway 47. How many have set up residence there for any period
of time?
General recognition arose from the audience. Spindy continued, Well,
then, you are familiar with this death camp in our midst where many
of our pig friends are forced to serve out pointless existences yes,
folks, pigs are our friends. We have learned through sources that one
and a half to three hundred thousand pigs are slaughtered for human
food in the U.S. every day after miserable lives in places like Murphys.
We must help pigs just as Wilbur plans to help us. And we are in a
position to do that. As balloonists, we are free to go far and wide
across this country to spread the word that factory farming must end.
And how on earth do you suggest we do that, Spindy? Oz retorted. A
stray voice from the crowd then asked, How many miracles are you going
to lay on us today, anyway?
Spindy didnt answer, but simply glided down one of her threads to the
floor level where most of the other spiders were. She began crawling
to a corner of the sanctuary, beckoning the others to follow.
It was a good 10 minutes later before they all had made it across the
room. When they got there, Spindy directed the spiders to look behind
a chalk board. A ray of moonlight from a window above illuminated a
spiders web that Spindy had spun earlier in the week. In the middle
were the words, End Factory Farming of Pigs.
Like this, we spiders will spin change all across the land. Now, who
among you is ready to learn how I did this?
Pam Teisler-Rice is founding president of
the VivaVegie Society the society that takes vegetarian activism
to the street. She is also the author of the famous 101 Reasons
Why Im a Vegetarian. To order a copy, send $1 plus SASE to
The VivaVegie Society, Prince Street Sta., P.O. Box 294,
New York, NY 10012. Pam spins her own web on http://www.earthbase.org/vivavegie and
you can send her email at vivavegi@novalink.com
